How to Control Your Anger? Alka Vijh explains…
If you are driving and someone overtakes from the wrong side, do you feel angry and abuse?
If your child or wife [husband] do not support you, does your blood pressure increase?
If any subordinate or servant takes uninformed leave, does your mercury rise?
ANGER – it is a normal and healthy emotion. However, it is important to deal with it in a positive manner. Uncontrolled anger can badly affect your health as well as relationships.
Whenever anger occurs, a frown appears on the face. Neither the angry person, nor the other person is pleased with this outbreak of anger. This is an expression which is disliked by all – the angry person, the other person, or anyone. In short, anyone who listens, or makes this expression, is unhappy during that phase. However, we all experience it, express it, or become a victim of it. We all are aware of the damage, and we all want to avoid this effect. Does the problem occur when unprovoked anger outbursts, for no reason at all? Actually, it is like a chain reaction going on from one person to the other, and then transfers to the people around you.
Expressing anger is a natural process. According to psychologists, it is a medium for your emotional cleansing. The negative feelings or frustration that are deep rooted in the mind, finds its outlet through this expression. However, when it comes out in a negative manner, it can become a disaster. Moreover, you cannot hold your anger. Suppression of anger is also very harmful. It will act like a bomb which can explode at any time. You never know when and how it will come out. We all try, and also advice others to properly channelise anger. However, it is difficult to understand, or think accordingly when you are angry. Actually when one gets angry, the thinking power is highly afflicted. Sometimes, when someone is very angry – he also doesn’t know what he will do next, and his close ones also don’t know how to handle that person. Thereafter, the situation really becomes worse.
How can spiritual knowledge enable you to control this anger? And how will it help you to behave wisely when angry? It is true that spiritual knowledge is the best tool for psychological mouldings. Actually, some research on anger management should be done properly and rationally.
First of all understand that anger is energy, and any energy can be used in both forms, constructive and destructive. I don’t mean that one should never be angry. It is a natural process and one needs emotional cleansing, hence anger is the right channel for your emotional cleansing, however you need to change the path of your outlet. It is similar to what the great nurse Florence Nightingale had done, when she saw people crying with pain. She didn’t release her anger on the ailing patients, instead she released her anger on the cause that was responsible for the pain, and served the patients with her full devotion to fight against the problem. If you are a player, then you can release your anger through any physical outlet like playing tennis, football, or releasing your energy in the gym, or just do gardening in your backyard. If you have nothing to do of that sort, then start cleaning your closet. In a nutshell, release your energy through any physical outlet and then you will realise that your anger is gradually reducing.
YOGA – using your energy with any action to bring harmony in the cosmos is yoga – yoga is to sum up. According to the Bhagavad Gita, a yogi cannot be described by actions like asana, pranayama, etc. As per the Bhagavad Gita, one who has control over his body and also renounces his desires is a yogi – one who does not wish anything. Here we focus on the point – Yogi is one who does have any desire. It does not mean that you have to suppress your desires – instead you have to redirect your energy into another direction, where you are away from any desire. When both the mind and body are away from desire – that is a true yogi.
It is not possible that you will not experience any grief or agony in your life. Anger is bound to happen when you are physically or emotionally hurt. It is built up by the circumstances around us. If you want to change the circumstances, you have to work in that direction.
Otherwise, leave the situation as it is.
Remember, always getting angry shows your inability to deal with the situation. It means that you are a weak manager. Therefore, the spiritual path suggests how to handle a situation and does not favour suppressing anger. That is why it guides us to become strong from inside, so that external factors are unable to affect your inner strength. The best way it guides, is to retract your mind, and this process is known as Pratyahara – withdrawal of the senses. It is withdrawal of sensory attention from the outside world, and it does not mean to sit still or sit in meditate form. It is a mental process and not a physical one. It is easier said than done. You can do this process step by step:
First of all make a habit – think before you speak. However, it is difficult to do so when you are under the effect of anger. An angry person chooses the words that are hurtful to others. Moreover, by doing so he forgets that these harsh words will pierce the heart of another person, which will then create frustration and lead to anger in that person. In a way, you are feeding the anger of that person, which one way or another will revert back to you with stronger intensity. Hence, it is necessary to stop this chain reaction, and to do this, it should be balanced. Never speak when angry, instead be quiet.
When we get angry, our energy level rises. Hence, it is better to release this energy through any physical outlet. Go to the gym, do some exercise, clean the closet, go out for window shopping, or just watch the children in the park – by doing so your mind will be distracted. If any of these things are not possible for you, then the best way is to pick any good or religious book that will serve as the best guide at this time.
During this process, try to analyse the cause that creates anger in you. You will find yourself much balanced now. So, half the battle is won. Recognition of the cause itself is like winning the situation. Now sit and search the solution. If you find it and do it yourself, then it is the best way to come out of it. Otherwise you have to leave it as it is, instead of intervening with it and spoiling it more. Remember, that anger in any situation will work as fuel in fire.
It is a real challenge to control your anger every time, yet it is not impossible. By and by, if you follow the above steps in your daily life, you will see improvements in yourself. Other than that, just make a habit to forgive others. Forgiveness is the biggest tool. If you forgive others, then it is the greatest of all – by this you not only do good to others, but you are doing good to yourself. You will feel like an ocean of peace within yourself, after forgiving others.
Remember, that others will not or never do as you wish. It is not possible that others follow you or you expect others to do as you want. Be flexible and forgiving.
Besides this, our religious texts have given lot of remedies against anger. However, this will work if you wish to control yourself against anger. Mantras and any other things like gemstone or yantra or yagya, or any other method will work only if you are willing to improve. Regarding gemstones, pearl and moonstone – both are found to be very effective. However, I have found the moonstone more effective than pearl, since it has a better refractive index. However, the gemstone should be worn after deeply analysing your birth chart, as the gemstones may also have a negative effect.
Sitting in Padmasana or Siddhasana will also make you feel peaceful.
The following mantras will also help you to cool down soon:
You can recite this mantra for 21 times and after recitation of the mantra each time, just blow into the water. Repeat this for 21 times and then sprinkle the water, three times on the face. You will observe that your anger has vanished and you have also cooled down.
“OM SHANTE PARSHANTE SARVA KRODH PASHNEEN SWAHA”
The following mantras will also help you:
1. Daihika daivika bhoutika tapa
Rama raja nahin kahu byapa
2. Bharata charita kari mamu tulasije sadar sunahin
Siya Rama pada prema avasi hoi bhava rasa birati
Apart from this, the best solution is to donate peace. Yes, you must have heard about donating food, clothes, money and other things, however donating peace must be new to you. You can do it easily. Just listen to the person who is angry. Listen to the frustrations peacefully – if possible, provide guidance of the right path. Otherwise, it is better to just listen, and provide comfort and solace to the troubled person. We visit many social sites like Facebook and WhatsApp, and have many friends. However, no one listens and shares your inner frustrations. After providing peace to others, you will also find endless peace in yourself.
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Celebrity Astrologer and Spiritualist