Maybe it’s difficult to discern if someone likes you. Even if you met on a dating site or app like Bumble or OkCupid, where things should be clearer, the fact that you both signed up for it implies that your perspectives are already known, therefore even if you met there, it could not be evident. Simply that you both made the effort to dress semi-nicely and meet in a public place at first doesn’t imply that the individual desires to date you genuinely or not. Especially if you’re at a party and a new friend compliments you. You could presume they have feelings for you, but they might just really, absolutely adore you. Or if you’re not sure if that coffee date is simply an excuse to sip cappuccinos and talk about the most recent movie or book someone read or saw, or if the coffee date is truly just an excuse to see you since this person is working up a sweat, I get it. One could also wonder, “Are they really into me?”
Flirty VS Friendly – The subtle differences that can save you the embarrassment
Is someone you like returning your interest by being flirtatious or are they just being friendly? Understanding the minor variations between friendliness and flirtation might help you avoid the embarrassing situation of confessing your love to someone who doesn’t reciprocate your feelings. Some individuals are just incredibly skilled at making us feel good about ourselves just by being social, and that may occasionally seem flirtatious. You must determine whether they are friendly or deliberately flirting with you. Let’s examine each of these actions individually to see how they differ:
1. Eye Contact
Friendly: They keep their eyes on you and stare at you when they talk. Although they occasionally drift off, they listen to what you’ve got to say as you speak.
Flirty: They give you a longer, more focused look as if they were trying to telepathically connect with you. The unironic intensity of the nonverbal may prompt the individual to lean toward you rather than nod.
2. Their Questions
Friendly: They just want to be friendly by engaging with you and making you lead the conversation. They can ask casual questions – what brings you here, how are you, what are you into, and more.
Flirty: The main difference in flirty questions is that there seems to be a direction to the conversation, and eventually get into more personal questions such as your love life and sex life.
3. Teasing
Friendly: Friendly talk is typical, especially if you are a woman with male friends. Friends often turn one another into the punchlines of jokes, so just because they tell a lot of lighthearted (and even heavyhearted) jokes doesn’t mean they like you.
Flirty: Even your friends or the other people in your buddy group think that the taunts they give you are too nasty. They make fun of you more than anybody else, but they wouldn’t take pleasure in it if someone else started doing the same.
4. Attention
Friendly: It’s common for friends to pay attention to one another, which includes making eye contact during discussions, responding to one another’s messages, and inquiring about one another’s days and general well-being.
Flirty: If they only step up their game by paying closer attention in creative ways, such flirtatious interest may turn into close attentiveness. For instance, if they present someone with a thoughtful gift, such as dinner or movie tickets, or if they relate funny stories about times you may have spent together. People try harder to convince someone when they want you.
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Signs That Someone Likes/Wants You
They always have time to see you and are consistent
It’s a typical sign of interest and a desire to spend as much time with you as they can. Consistency—showing up on time, for example—is a good indication that someone is making an effort and genuinely wants to be there. However, be wary of those who seem strong since they can be suffering from an avoidant attachment, where they want a connection but withdraw when it becomes too intense. You may have to learn some restraint if they start out seeming excessively eager. If this is the case, you should be able to detect it.
Being in your energy
It’s typical for individuals you like to automatically gravitate toward you. They physically approach you, demonstrating their attraction to and infatuation with your energy. You may tell you are uncomfortable with their presence if you start to move about. They might not be as appealing to you and may feel as though your space is being encroached upon. You shouldn’t dismiss this indicator, since there is one. You could employ your own avoidance strategies or be aware of the desire to withdraw.
They want to converse
If someone wants to learn more about you, they will start a discussion and inquire about your interests, hobbies, travels, and whatever else they can think of to keep the conversation going. One of the most typical actions you’ll observe when someone likes you is this. They are looking for things that have in connection to determine your compatibility. If someone is shy or has self-esteem and confidence issues, this may not happen, so if you like them, don’t disregard them. After a few dates, they will begin to open up and participate more. If not, they probably aren’t interested. If they frequently bring up their own problems or you, your past, or terrible occurrences in your life, this is a red sign, and you should distance yourself.
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There is a deeper interest in you
Curiosity is an interesting thing, if you are not a cat, of course! In a romantic context, this is amplified, as your brain is searching to know more about why it has been triggered so it becomes wildly interested in the person who has triggered it. It will keep sending questions out in order to satiate that curiosity. The person interested in you will do the same and once they meet your friends are likely to ask them about you too! Note the caveat to this in the point above – be mindful of where their curiosity leads!
They will smile a lot
When someone is attracted to you, they will make eye contact and smile. If you notice them looking away while still grinning, they are certainly in a good mood. Not only because your grin is longer, bigger, and wider when you’re near a person have you liked, but also because you smile more often.
Notice the energy around you
Someone who likes you feels different physically when they are with you. They experience anxiety, which in this situation is a beneficial sort of stress. Adrenaline and other hormones will be produced, and your heart rate will increase, moving blood around your body and maybe generating flushing or even more sweat. People can’t help doing it, and it affects the energy they radiate toward you. It should seem like they’re happy to be with you, but it might also mean they’re trying to get away from you… Keep an eye out for the difference.
They recall the ‘small stuff’
If someone retains what you say, even if just briefly, and then returns to it later, they are likely to be interested. They certainly noticed what you said and are trying to remember it. The brain will create a place for memories that are significant to you thanks to “selective filtering.” Therefore, if your brain is telling you something is significant because you care about it, the other person is quite likely to care about you as well.
It’s time for a warning: There are people who will remember specifics about you because they think they can use those things against you in the future. This most certainly does not apply to trivial matters, therefore if it is trivial matters rather than the private information you have disclosed, you can be sure that they are interested.
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What should you do if you think someone is into you?
To summarize, if you want to know whether someone is interested in you but does not express it openly, seek for signs! Even if they don’t display them all, a few of them will signal that they want to get to know you. Remember that some people find it difficult to come forward, so instead of informing them, show people the signs. Or just let them know. I understand it might be tough to do this if you struggle with acceptance or fear of rejection and want to be certain about someone before expressing your thoughts, but noticing the indicators can help you choose if you are safe to reciprocate or not. Do be mindful of the warning signs too. Some people know what they want, but just won’t allow themselves to have it, or have issues that mean they want you to be interested.
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