Communication Hacks of Successful Couples

Communication Hacks of Successful Couples

Do you have faith in your ability to resolve conflicts in your relationship? Here are some useful exercises you may do as a pair to aid you and your partner in improving verbal, nonverbal, or written communication.  


Try these 18 exercises

1. Validation is important for me

 Any connection benefits from validation. Everyone seeks validation in life. When you’re honest and vulnerable in your relationships, affirmation might help you feel safe. Exercises that encourage validation and trust might help you establish a strong connection and feel confident in your spouse. It can be particularly challenging to communicate your thoughts when coping with relationship issues and conflict if you don’t feel comfortable.

It’s crucial to realize that validation involves more than just concurring with one another. In contrast, it’s letting someone know that you comprehend what they’re saying while also respecting their sentiments, ideas, or emotions.

2. The highs and lows of our day

Verbal exchanges enable you to speak your mind without inhibition, and your partner learns to listen intently. This should be done in the evening, ideally before dinner or right before bed. Couples will have the opportunity to check in with one another during this exercise to discuss their day.

The “high” component of your day, which you and your spouse will alternately share, will be the highlight of your day. The “down” will also be one of the most depressing topics to be covered. You will use your listening skills only to show empathy and understanding as your partner tells you about their day. Your companion will play the role of the listener until it is your turn to talk.

3. “Look me in the eye”

This method is a practice in nonverbal communication. Eye contact is the main point of emphasis. You will be placed in separate chairs with your backs to one another. Choose a location that is as distraction-free as feasible, calm, and comfortable.

You should look at each other without breaking eye contact for five minutes. You should both make an effort to let your inner ideas and feelings come to the surface and express during this time. You and your companion are encouraged to discuss what you just went through after this activity.

To gauge connection and if nonverbal cues were understood, each of you should have the chance to speculate on what the other was thinking.

4. “Listen to me- actively”

This activity will focus on both verbal and non-verbal communication. You will set a timer for 3 to 5 minutes. Each of you will be allowed to verbalize whatever you are thinking and feeling. The other person will not be permitted to interrupt while the other is talking. 

During this time, as the other person is verbalizing, the other partner will use non-verbal techniques to express understanding, encouragement, and empathy. After the timer goes off, you and your partner will process the experience by talking about feelings, ideas, and observations. You will then switch roles for a chance to experience both skills. 

5. Send me a letter 

This one will enhance written communication. Each of you will have a blank letter. You will “exchange” letters with each other by writing each other messages that reflect your desire, emotion, or disappointment without saying a word. Then, each of you will receive a fresh, blank letter on which to react to the other’s messages.

6. Can you take my seat? 

When was the last time you and your partner discussed your feelings? And when was the last time you heard them complain? At the dinner table, do you discuss how each day was?

Decide on a time and day that both of you can complete this task. You will change roles in terms of communication throughout that time. You will try to think how your partner will respond to a situation. In turn, they will do the same. This is more like that game where you switch seats to switch roles.

You may be discussing what to eat for lunch, for instance. You will attempt to answer in the manner in which your spouse might, for example, by suggesting that you order delivery or takeout. They will believe that you would recommend making a handmade salad instead, in their opinion.

Every time you get the chance, participate in this activity with a partner. Wouldn’t it be interesting to know how your spouse perceives you in terms of how you react to various settings and situations?

7. Using “I” statements 

When expressing oneself, avoid saying “you,” “could,” and “should” since they trigger a defensive response. It develops into an assault on the other person. In their place, use “I” statements.

You may say to your lover,  “I understand____ because____. I’d like for you to___. 

They will also have to reply with “I” statements.

In answer to your comment, “You sound ___ because ___ . I will and I ___, next time.” 

You can tell your partner, they will need to respond using the “I” statements too. 

Your spouse is expressing their feelings about your conduct in an assertive manner by making the aforementioned remarks. You are accepting accountability in return.

8. Look back at how we fought

Choose three crucial phrases from prior arguments that you and your partner may discuss. Together, you will rewrite each of these sentences such that they may have been stated without offense or criticism. Without creating another misconception, this should be done. No yelling should be heard. It’s crucial to jointly adjust forceful behaviors. 

9. Stop name-calling me

You will individually identify insulting and cruel terms you may have used to refer to one another for the sake of this assignment. You will each read your list when it has been completed. You will all get a chance to share your feelings with one another on your level of self-confidence. The statements may have been shouted out at the time in a fit of rage without giving the other person’s sentiments any thought.

10. The copycat

This activity has a specific objective. Together with your buddy, sit back to back using the same set of construction blocks. You must each use the available construction components to create a structure. For instance, if you are given the responsibility of constructing, you must verbally instruct your partner so that they may construct the identical structure without seeing what you are doing.

Your mutual trust will be essential for this activity. Just as you will trust them to build according to your directions, your partner will need to have faith in you to deliver clear and precise instructions.

11. Through the “minefield”

This is a task with a purpose. Sit back to back with your buddy using the same set of construction pieces. A construction must be constructed by one of you using the available building materials. For instance, if you are given the duty of building, you will need to verbally instruct your partner in order for them to be able to construct the identical structure without seeing what you are doing.

Your mutual trust will be crucial to the success of this activity. Your partner will need to have faith in you to provide clear and precise directions, just as you will have faith in them to construct according to your instructions.

12. “Lend me a hand”

You and your companion will need to cooperate in order to accomplish the shared objective, and one arm from each of you will be tied behind your backs. You may overcome this difficulty by collaborating and communicating well.

To be able to use each other’s free hands to do the duties assigned to you, you both must deliver clear, unambiguous instructions to one another. Any task, such as lacing a shoe, buttoning a garment, or clasping a necklace, can be targeted. You will be successful with the “challenge” if you can both clearly understand what to do, where to go, and how to accomplish things.

13. Time to reflect

You and your companion can both gain better verbal communication and listening skills by doing this “reflection” practice.

You’ll each take turns telling a lengthy narrative for roughly five minutes, following which the other person will reflect on what they just heard. To correctly transmit what they just heard from their partner’s tale, the individual being asked to reflect on what they heard will need to use their active listening abilities.

On the other side, the partner who was requested to tell a narrative will use all of their verbal communication abilities to make sure that their partner fully comprehends what they have just heard.

14. Moving forward

You and your spouse will be able to pinpoint and clearly convey your future aspirations through this exercise. Both immediate and long-term objectives might be discussed. You can comprehend each other’s requirements by doing this.

Encourage one another to make a wish list where you may include your hopes, aspirations, future goals, etc. This activity’s goal is to communicate to everyone how they may support one another in achieving their objectives. If you and your spouse are not currently at this level of intimacy, now is the time to go toward it.

  1. “Lyrics and music”

You and your companion will use music to express yourself in this exercise. Each of you will select three songs that are personal to you. The lyrics of each song will then be exchanged between you. Many people find that their favorite songs help them to express themselves more clearly. 

Couples can discuss why they choose a certain music, what it means to them, and how it makes them feel through this exercise. You and your partner will become closer to one another via this practice. Through the music you select, you are able to glimpse each other’s most vulnerable sides.

  1. Up for Q&A?

Do you both know the other’s favorite meal or vacation spot? Through this exercise, you and your friends may get to know one another better.

You will create a list of inquiries regarding one another’s preferences. After that, you will trade lists. The questions on the list will be answered by each of you in turn. This is a great and healthy approach to get to know each other better, especially if you want to wed soon.

17. Positive Language Exercises

Conversations between spouses frequently go over better when they use positive communication methods and terminology. A good tone should prevail over a negative one, especially when couples are attempting to handle challenging circumstances or subjects. The premise that it’s frequently not what you say, but how you say it, has been supported by research. In this context, communication styles are discussed.

Negative words can cause communication issues and make one partner feel attacked, accused, or both. Simply stopping to consider what you’re saying and rephrasing it in a more positive way is an effective method to practice positive language exercises.

For instance, you may remark, “I adore those jeans,” as opposed to, “Those pants don’t look well on you.” you could say, “I love those black pants you wore on our last date night.”

  1. DBT workouts

Dialectical Behavior Therapy, also known as DBT, is a form of cognitive-behavioral therapy that places a strong emphasis on the psychosocial aspects of care, emphasizing the importance of a supportive client relationship, a collaborative therapeutic relationship, and the development of coping mechanisms for dealing with intensely emotional situations. To acquire the help you require, learn more about DBT treatment approaches and online DBT therapy choices.

DEAR MAN serves as an illustration of a DBT activity. Describe, Express, Assert, Reinforce, Mindful, Appear, and Negotiate make up this acronym. This activity will teach you how to establish appropriate limits in interpersonal interactions.

Describe: Using only pertinent details, accurately describe the scenario.

Express: Tell your lover how you’re feeling about the circumstance. They’ll better grasp why the issue matters to you if you explain how you feel in more detail. Use “I” statements to complete this step efficiently.

Assert: Tell them what you desire. Be really detailed.

Reinforce: Concentrate on what they can gain if they grant your request. Always give them your thanks or a grin in return if they comply with your requests.

Mindful: Concentrate on the current circumstance. Stay focused on the discourse at all times. Prioritize the here and now, share your desires and feelings, and then pay attention to what your spouse has to say.

Appear: Look assured. Regardless of how you truly feel, project confidence by maintaining a straight posture, keeping your head up, and speaking clearly.

Negotiate: By keeping in mind that you are making an offer rather than making a demand. Healthy compromises are the foundation of relationships. Wherever you can, make concessions, but keep in mind your limits.


A word from Ganeshaspeaks

Effective communication is the cornerstone of successful relationships. It is an art. If you master the skills of communicating, you can enjoy your relationships.

The relationship experts at can help you make your communication more effective for establishing healthy relationships. Download the app now.

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