5 GREEN FLAGS IN RELATIONSHIPS
Next to losing out on a great sale, women hate being phubbed. But that does not mean, men, love it when their partner ignores them. Remember those romance novels where the girl is a chatterbox and the male lead is an occasional mute? Why do you think they always have some sort of falling out because of some fatuous misunderstanding? The answer is faulty communication. A healthy communication pattern where your partner listens to you without judgment or disruption and expresses their own problems, feelings, and thoughts is imperative for healthy relationships to grow. Effective communication helps resolve misunderstandings, develop trust, empathy and strengthens a relationship.
Edith Hamilton once quoted “Love cannot live where there is no trust” and we all can agree with that. Trust establishes the foundation of any or every relationship. If your partner trusts you and always cheers for you, then you know how lucky you got! Something that most people cannot find in this world. When there is trust in a relationship, you allow yourself to be vulnerable and open up to your partner. The presence of trust itself shows that there is security in a relationship. Without trust, relationships fester and are over before the season changes. If your partner shows a lack of trust in you, then you can either work together to resolve their trust issues with the help of a counsellor or can call it quits before it turns ugly.
Establishing boundaries is difficult. If you put yourself first then feelings of guilt of selfishness can follow and if you keep putting others first over yourself then, you may begin to feel under-benefitted in a relationship. Maintaining a healthy balance is difficult when it comes to boundaries so, both partners in a relationship should strive for equality.
Equity theory of relationship emphasizes the same. Being equally benefitted is important. So, try to compromise once in a while and always treat your partner as your equal. Understand their feelings and respect their sense of self-worth. If your partner gives you space whenever you need it and understands your needs without sending you on a guilt trip then you should do the same for them.
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Warmth and Comfort
If your partner or relationship provides you the comfort to be yourself, laugh or behave freely then, it is a green flag. If your partner does not demean you, does not point out your faults all the time, or makes you feel inferior to them providing you with a safe environment to grow, then your partner is perfect like Joon-Ho.
Your partner is your safe haven – a place that brings you warmth. If you dread sharing something with your partner or it is uncomfortable for you to be yourself in their presence, then, that is a major red flag that indicates how unhealthy your relationship is.
This is something that most people ignore when it comes to men. While the media is full of why consent is important when it comes to issues related to women, we tend to leave the major half – men – out of the equation. A relationship revolves around two people hence, it is important that both of them take their partner’s consent before making out any major decision or acting upon something.
This can involve insignificant decisions like finalizing a destination for a trip or inviting a friend home for dinner. If your partner lives with you then it is important you ask them if they are comfortable with you changing the colour of the walls or inviting your friends over for brunch. If your partner is considerate and includes you in every major decision, then, your relationship is on the right track.
Epitomizing the article, the list of green flags is long but if your partner provides you a safe place to evolve and grow, then your relationship is a healthy one. But people should always try to be considerate of their partners and never take them for granted. Keep it simple but sweet! That’s all a relationship needs.
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