I Hate the Fact that I Hate Myself

What Is Self-Loathing/Hatred?

Self-loathing is a severe pattern of self-criticism and self-judgment that originates from (and contributes to) feelings of worthlessness, pessimism, and inadequacy. People who despise themselves have a strong, negative internal narrative, often known as an inner critic, and have frequently endured some form of invalidation or trauma. Those most likely to self-loathe include people who:
• Were bullied as children
• Experienced Trauma
• Grown up in invalidating situations
• Suffer from depression and believe that self-punishment is an effective method of behavior modification.

Signs of Self-Hatred

Below are some of the tell-tale signs that you might be living with self-hatred, beyond having occasional negative self-talk.
• You see yourself and your life as binary, with no shades of grey in between. When you make a mistake, you may assume that your entire life has been wrecked or that you are a failure.
• Even if you had a pleasant day, you prefer to dwell on what went wrong.
• You embrace your feelings as facts. When you realize you’re feeling bad or like a failure, you conclude that your sensations are true and you are, in fact, horrible.
• You generally have low self-esteem and do not think you measure up in everyday life to others.
• You are constantly searching for external validation to validate your self-worth. Your self-esteem changes depending on how others view you or what they think of you.
• If someone says something wonderful about you, you dismiss it or believe they are simply being kind. You have difficulties receiving compliments and tend to throw them off rather than take them politely.
• You are always attempting to blend in with others yet feeling like an outcast. You believe that others detest you and that no one would want to spend time with or like you.
• When someone criticizes you, you tend to see it as a personal assault or ruminate about it long after the event.
• You grow envious of others and may desire to hurt them to make yourself feel better about your situation.
• You may push away friends or potential partners out of fear that if they get too close, things will go wrong or you would be alone.
• You tend to pity yourselves and feel that you have been dealt a bad hand in life or that the odds are stacked against you.
• You are hesitant to have goals and dreams because you believe you must continue to live a safe life. You may be terrified of failure, afraid of success, or you may have low self-esteem regardless of your accomplishments.
• You find it difficult to forgive yourself when you make a mistake. You may also feel regrets over things you have done or failed to accomplish in the past. You may struggle to let go and move on from mistakes.
• You have a cynical perspective on the world and dislike your surroundings. You get the idea that those who are hopeful are unaware of how the world works. You don’t see things improving and have a negative outlook on life.

Causes for Self-Hatred

1. Negative inner critic
Your inner critic might be the source of your persistent belief that you despise yourself. The more we listen to our inner voice, the stronger it becomes. Furthermore, the more you submit to negative thinking, the worse your psychological health will be.

2. Past trauma
Physical, emotional, or verbal assaults, a catastrophic vehicle accident, or a huge loss in your life can all result in a deep-seated sense of why me? When these sentiments shift to remorse, blame, or humiliation for what happened, you may begin to see overt signs of self-hatred.

3. Childhood
You may have developed low self-esteem as a result of your upbringing if you were reared by adults who were severely critical of you. Other things may have harmed your self-esteem throughout childhood, especially if you grew up in a tumultuous or stressful environment, had parents who were frequently tense or fought, or were frequently in situations that made you nervous. Adults who were abused or neglected as children may develop a negative internal voice.

4. Bullying
Bullying, whether at school, work, or in a terrible relationship, can have long-term consequences for how you perceive yourself. Replaying the words or acts of a bully or toxic person in your mind may signal that you need help. You can (and should) strive to overcome your abuse, since it may be the source of your poor self-esteem.

5. Environmental triggers
Environmental cues may transport you back to a past unfavorable occurrence. This may result in an out-of-control emotional reaction to the circumstance. If this occurs frequently, it might be an indication that your self-hatred, which arose from the first event, is contributing to the problem.

6. Bad relationships
Even in adulthood, unpleasant relationships may produce a negative inner voice response. We typically identify bad relationships with romance, but even a poor professional relationship or friendship may lead to negative self-talk that is difficult to overcome. When we are told repeatedly that we are something, it becomes simpler to believe.

7. Mental health conditions
A mental illness, such as major depressive disorder (MDD) or an anxiety disorder, can both lead to sentiments of self-hatred. Depression can induce overwhelming emotions of guilt, sadness, and other sensations that you may internalize, eventually making you feel inadequate.

Outcomes of Self-Hatred

Beyond the origins of self-hatred, it’s critical to comprehend the consequences of having ideas that constantly support your self-hatred. Here are some possible outcomes:
• If you believe that something will only go wrong, you could quit attempting to accomplish it.
• You may indulge in self-destructive behavior such as substance abuse, binge eating, or social isolation.
• You may undermine your efforts or neglect to look for yourself.
• You could unintentionally choose toxic companions or relationships that are hurtful to you or take advantage of you.
• You may struggle with low self-confidence and low self-esteem.
• You might have trouble making decisions and feel as though you need others to guide you when you become paralyzed in indecision.
• You may be a perfectionist who struggles to get things done.
• You might excessively worry about daily problems or your future.
• You have difficulty believing beautiful things about yourself and feel that praises from others are merely polite or manipulative.
• You may feel unable to pursue your objectives and aspirations.
• You may doubt your abilities and what you can accomplish.
• You may see the future as dark and have no optimistic aspirations.
• You may feel as though you don’t belong anywhere and that you are an outcast and disconnected from the world around you.

If you can related to any these signs, you might want to seek help at Ganeshaspeaks.com. Our wellness experts can help. Download the app now.

How to Combat Self-Hatred

There are several things you may do to interrupt the cycle of self-hatred. Above all, remember that you are not to blame for how you feel, but you are responsible for the measures you take to begin making positive changes right now.

Try Journaling
Maintain a journal in which you may reflect on your day and how you feel about it. Consider the events of the day, investigate scenarios that may have elicited certain emotions, and be aware of the underlying causes of any self-hatred thoughts.
Look for patterns in your daily journaling and try to become more aware of how your emotions change. According to studies, expressive writing, such as journaling, can help reduce psychological distress.

Talk Back to Your Inner Critic
As you become more aware of your emotions and their roots, attempt to recognize the ideas you have when confronted with difficult circumstances. Check to discover if your thoughts are correct or if you are indulging in mental distortions.
Try reacting to your inner bully with counterarguments. If you’re having trouble developing a strong voice on your own, envision yourself as a stronger person you know, such as a friend, famous person, or superhero, and speak back to the critical voice in your brain.

Practice Self-Compassion
Rather than hating yourself, try being friendly to yourself. This means seeing things from a different angle, appreciating your successes, and abandoning black-and-white thinking. What would you say to a friend or loved one who was experiencing similar feelings of insecurity?
Was a single terrible incident indeed the end of the world? Could you change the situation so that it seems to be a setback rather than a disaster? When you are friendlier to yourself, you open yourself up to more pleasurable sensations and a good inner voice. Compassion-focused treatment, according to studies, can enhance self-esteem, which may help reduce self-hatred.
Spend Time with Positive People
Begin associating with people who make you feel good rather than those who make you feel bad. If you don’t have any positive people in your life, consider joining a support group.

Practice Meditation
If you find it difficult to slow down and disconnect from your negative thoughts, consider starting a regular meditation practice. Meditation may help you stop the negative voice in your head. It’s also like working out a muscle; the more you practice it, the easier it will be to relax your mind and let go of negative thoughts.

See a Therapist
If you are experiencing mental health issues, you may benefit from seeing a therapist. While it is possible to change your viewpoint on your own, a therapist may help you cope with earlier trauma more quickly and guide you to more constructive thought habits.

Practicing self-care
Self-care may be easier than you think. You can practice self-care by eating well, sleeping enough, Working out, and Tracking how much social media and screen time you spend each day these are all examples of self-care activities that can help your mental and physical health. What was the ultimate result? You appear to be feeling better.

Challenging your negative thoughts
Challenging your negative thinking patterns may result in a shift in your internal dialogue. Try asking yourself why? Every time you think I loathe myself. This may provide you the opportunity to question the negative mental patterns you’ve developed. Telling yourself that’s not true, or asking yourself who told you that? Both have the potential to be effective.

Reframing your negative thoughts
It may appear to be overly simplistic and unworkable. However, reframing negative beliefs has been shown to improve self-esteem. Reframing is a very successful treatment strategy that may help you deal with your self-hatred and negative beliefs. It works by moving your thinking to a little different angle. Reframing negative thoughts over time might gradually teach your brain to behave in a new, more optimistic way.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy can help you fight your self-hatred. Consult the counselors and psychologists at Ganeshaspeaks.com by downloading the app.

Talk to Online Therapist

View All